If I had any regular readership on this blog, I hope I haven’t lost it with my lack of posting lately…. my blog ticker tells me that a few people out there are still checking in.  thanks!

 So, a little confession today.  Is that ok?

This is what is haunting my mind/heart… but, it is changing.

We’ll start at the beginning (sort of ).  I was in college when I first felt a clear calling from the Lord to “stand on the wall” as an “intercessor” — not necessarily that it would be a full-time calling, but I knew it will be a significant part of my life from that point on.  I have never been one who “hates” prayer.  I usually quite enjoy it.  I have led many a prayer meeting — and (almost) always LOVED it.  I’m not sure if others have always felt the same way, but I like prayer meetings!  I love seeing the answers to prayer, too.  It only fuels my desire in it.

Now, a few years down the road, i’ve learned more of the true power of intercession — that, as simple as it sounds, it is THE WAY that God governs the Universe!  If I want to take part in changing lives and changing the world and changing history, all I have to do is stand before God and say back to Him what He has already said (i.e. His Word in the Bible).  He loves our agreement and partnership in bringing about His will!

I’ve preached prayer.  I’ve organized prayer gatherings and prayer initiatives.  I’ve taught others to pray….  but lately, I noticed a problem.

I’m not praying much. 

That’s not ok with me. 

Sure, I talk to the Lord a lot, all day as I’m going through life and that is prayer.  I live my life unto the Lord — that’s prayer, too.  But, I’ve found lots of reasons and excuses to not spend much time alone, in front of God and God alone, in prayer.  I still love Him, I still have been hearing His voice, but, this is not good with me.  I fear actually getting into the habit of NOT having set aside time — a prayerless life! 

I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions, but I am making a new determination to set my life in order around this calling and desire for prayer/intercession.  The time of year really is coincidental.  It is quite helpful that we’re doing our annual time of consecration at church (we call it 504= 24 hours x 21 days).  I’ve set my heart to enter into this time deeply.  I’m going to do as little as possible of “everything else” (business, etc.) and put myself in that place of prayer (even when it feels dry and I “hit the wall”), because there is no life outside of a life in God, and I’m not just looking for life in my heart — I want enough to give away!  I want as many people as possible to have the life of God on the inside!  As a “pastor”, that’s what many would call my primary calling — bringing others into the life of Jesus Christ.  But that won’t happen right if I’m not drowning in His love myself! 

I hope I won’t be the only one, and others of you will join me in the journey to a TRUE life of prayer.  It’s for everyone.  It’s only the dim, dull ones (like me) that need the Lord to tell them specifically to give their lives to it.   

Ugh.  Every pastor/speaker knows the feeling.  You’re excited about your message, you have in your heart what you want to say.  Then you share it . . . and it just doesn’t come out right — not the way you hoped, anyway.  And, you keep going over and over and over in your head things you MEANT to say, but didn’t, all the good points you wanted to make, but forgot..  Well, I’ve been feeling so strongly about what I DIDN’T say in my message Sunday morning that I just wanted to follow up and clarify.  Actually, I’ve been inspired by another pastor (of a large, growing, vibrant church, by the way) who has dedicated his WHOLE blog to having a release valve for all those post-sermon thoughts and feelings (see Dave Workman’s blog here). 

So, my message was, “The Hidden Power of a Rejoicing Heart”.  Truthfully, it should have been probably like, a four-part series. . . I always bite off way more than I can chew with my messages.  It’s hard though, when you only speak once a month… you get inspired by the Holy Spirit, and feel like you have to “cram it all in”.  This is the challenge of sharing from the Word:  there is so much that the Lord can say, but there is just a short window of time (and attention span).  I don’t like looong sermons.  But, more often than I like, I speak too long (I can when I’ve run the length of my audiences attention span – it’s written on their faces:)).  So, I know I went too long, but I was more frustrated with the feeling that I didn’t even say it well, even though I took many minutes trying!!  Argh!  Blame it on too much (good) information, or lack of solid preparation — I’ll take blame for both.  Let me summarize some of what I WISH I would have said clearly, and I’ll feel much better . . . and hopefully it will stir your heart as well.  

It’s God’s design for us that we all enter into the ecstatic joy of our Father today and every day!!

We are not meant to live a burdened, weighed down life.  The burdens we do have, we release to the Lord!  Our main “burden” in life, is to be yoked to Jesus and learn of Him!  Our great privilege in this life is to make knowing Jesus and walking with Him our main concern.

There are cares and worries in this life, but they are all temporary.  The God we are joined to is forever GOOD, happy, and IN LOVE WITH US, and He doesn’t change! 

This is the reward that cannot be stolen from us, it is the one thing that nothing can change – a rejoicing heart – strength at all times, unquenchable by the enemy or any circumstance, because it’s based on God and who HE IS, and HE NEVER CHANGES!!! 

That’s what I wanted to say!  If I would have said that and nothing else, it would have been good. 

I Peter 1:3-9

Praise Be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us birth into a NEW and LIVING HOPE . . . which can never spoil or fade….. 6  In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith . . may be proved genuine . . .Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

thank you, Peter, you say it way better than I ever could!